WELCOME TO THE ETIQUETTE CLINIC

Young lady with bullfrogs

Young man without bullfrogs

SEASON'S GREETINGS
FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE SUSPENDED HONDURAN MEAT EXCHANGE

Hi, boys and girls!

! Felices Frogidad !

I hope each of you is behaving like mature young adults and minding your parent(s) and/or court-appointed legal guardian(s). The Big Gig is just around the corner, you know. In the words of the Right Rev. Gordon Collins, "How You Gonna Act?"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I jest. I am a jester, is true.

Allow me to take time from my busy schedule to introduce myself. My name is Merciful Lee Dickens. I am a practicing Sagittarian with a Cancer moon. Turn-ons include romantic twilight strolls along the beach with my Bunny Rabbit.
Turn-offs include pushy girls who won't take NO for an answer.

I am a direct descendant of two Grand Finalists from the 1950's televised Ted Mack Original Amateur Hour.
My father was an Irish tenor and my mother his lovely accompanist (piano). It is perhaps historically noteworthy to mention
that in the process of becoming Grand Finalists, they defeated a then-unknown teenaged pop singer -
a wholesome "boy-next-door" - whom the world would come to know as Pat Boone.

As you may have learned from your little history books, my parents' mighty reign of terror was brought to tragic standstill by a small child who managed to tapdance while simultaneously playing the accordion. There was no shame in this defeat.
Who among you would NOT have folded in the inexorable onslaught of such raw unyielding Talent? I ask you.

But enough of the Past. Let us jettison back to the Future where we belong...

I live on the planet Earth.
That's me down there, waving up at you.
See? In the black shirt and matching skypiece? On the upper lefthand side?
Down and out from Seattle a bit? Look: I'm jumping up real high now! See? That's me!

Yeah, Earth's cool. I wouldn't live anywhere else. It's an excellent place to raise a family. We've got good gravity - hardly anyone goes flying off anymore - and there are plenty of old refrigerators for the kids to play in! 

Too tired to cook? Get with the program and switch to sidereal time - It may be earlier than you think!

You got a problem wit dis? Tell me about it, Chumpo! Send all correspondence, in awe, to:
His Most Arrogant Male Majesty, c/o Merciful at mindspring.com .

Operators are seated, but will gladly stand by on request.

AND NOW FOR SOME
LINKS OF VITAL INTEREST:

WUTZ HAPNIN?

SEATTLE & ELSEWHERE

THE STRANGER

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HEY, SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING GOOD ON!

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WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PAVEMENT - LIVE CAMERA ON BOURBON STREET

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WALLACE & GROMIT!

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WAITS, YOU CRAZY MUTHA!

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TURN UP THE EAGLES/THE NEIGHBORS ARE LISTENING

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GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!

THE ABSOLUTE BEST MUSIC YOU MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD:

LIONEL LOUEKE

I'm speechless - this cat is amazing!

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THE PHENOMENAL CELLIST, ASHRAF HAKIM

(photo by Doug van Kampen)

FREAK MOUNTAIN RAMBLERS
Hungry Freaks, Daddy!

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The Absolute Best Blues Band Working Today, period.

And

WITH THIS AMAZING SCIENTIFIC DEVICE YOU NOW CAN
PINPOINT WHICH SPACECRAFT ARE DIRECTLY OVERHEAD,
WATCHING YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY...

 
'GET YOUR WAR ON'
and other assorted clip art comics